PICA and sheer jealousy!

So while preggers with Middle A, I had PICA, and unless you've had it, you have no clue how frustrating it is to want to eat things that are, by definition, inedible.  If you've had a baby, you've likely had cravings and as everyone knows...when you crave something, you MUST. HAVE. IT. NOW.  So, when I started wanting dry clay and chalk, I knew I had a problem. Ironically, at the time there was some random special on TV about a man who was creating mineral supplements out of genuine dried clay and I watched the whole thing, drooling and hoping they'd post some order information (the didnt).  My dr and I tried to figure out what sort of deficiency might be causing this odd craving, and came up with nothing. So, I was doomed to suffer three months of unsatisfaction.  I had to get creative.  I started eating TUMS by the bottle. Necco Wafers worked ok too.  And....Space Ice Cream!!  The dry, chalky texture sort of helped curb the NEED for clay. 

Luckily, while pregnant with Baby A, I had no such cravings at all! With this baby, so far so good...except I really really really wanted some Astronaut Ice Cream.  And guess what (this is where the jealousy part comes in...) I FOUND it (see, don't you wish you were me??).  Actually, it wasnt even hard to find, but I thought it would be this huge, colossal task.  Turns out, people sell it all over the place. I had been buying it at our Old Navy for like, $5 a teeny bag, and then I discovered this little gem.  I bought a small case.  :)  Now, I can eat it to my hearts content. I'm so happy.  Dont be jealous...if you're nice, I'll share.

23 weeks pregnant

So, I'm 23 weeks now...and nothing really to report...baby boy Carroll is busy busy busy.  I swear he grew a ton just last night...all of a sudden, I'm only slightly smaller than a whale.  Pretty soon Sea World will be calling.  Its bad, I'm huge.  I don't eat a lot, I'm just ginormous.  I've decided I'm going to have to hit up P90X once this baby is out and work the heck out.  I'm tired of the flubber.

Anyhoo, the baby is doing great and growing growing! He has cycles now, and I can predict pretty well when he'll be awake and moving.  I often forget that I'm pregnant.  I mean, I'm good and uncomfortable, but I keep forgetting its because theres a BABY in there.  Its weird...like we're too busy to remember.  But its good too b/c I dont have time to focus on feeling run down.  Except for yesterday...it took me forever to get out of the house b/c I just felt SO WORN. I couldnt stand for too long without just feeling exhausted!

Braxton Hicks are picking up like crazy.  I'll have none, and then (like right this second) I'll have a bunch in a row.  I'm excited for next week b/c its viability week!  24 is the magic number when it comes to delivery because at that point they'd actually try and save him. 

I've just started buying some baby boy things, and I'm definately tending towards little man type clothes. I have bought a bunch of little button down shirts, little teeny cargos, little polo shirts...love it! I'm not so much into the softy baby stuff.  Obviously when he's brand new I'll have some softies, but I just love the look of a baby boy in teeny man clothes. 

I've decided to put the little girls into a room together and give him Baby A's room.  Its already a nice baby blue and owl themed, which is pretty gender neutral. I just have to take all the pink owls out and replace them with brown ones. I'll put pictures up once I get it straight. The little girls will be getting bunk beds, and Big A will stay right where she is. We are keeping the playroom as is because its nice to have a room dedicated JUST to toys.  That was probably a lot more information than anyone needed, but so be it! :)

Wow...I'm in complete shock.

So, I was getting sort of panicky as my anatomy ultrasound was coming up (its next Friday BTW).  I felt like I NEEDED to know what was growing in my belly (I mean, the baby part is a given, obviously its not a puppy) but boy or girl.  I felt like I needed to know BEFORE the scan so I could sort of deal with the emotions of having another girl before seeing the disappointed look on DH's face next Friday. 
I'll be honest...I WANT a boy. I'd love a girl as I love all my girls now, but I really wanted the experience of raising a boy too, and I knew this was my last shot because someone is getting something tied at the end of all this. 
So in a totally hastey move, I booked a random appointment at a 3d ultrasound place yesterday during my lunch hour.  Worth. Every. Penny.  And I found out what we're having!!!!!! Wanna know???
.
.
.
.
.
Its a BOY!!!!!

I about lost my freaking mind. I mean really, I almost lost it. I didn't believe the tech at all and then I saw my little boy in all his glory...very well endowed I might add.  I just can't wrap my head around a boy...after three girls. Its amazing!! 
So, I was going to keep it a secret from the hubs until next week, but he was having a bad day and NEEDED some good news.  The excitement in his voice made my day...it was up there with one of the best moments in my life. 
I have the 3d pictures, but they are super sucky...which stinks because I could see him perfectly clearly on the screen.  He is very very very cute.  For a 3d ultrasound at 18 weeks, he looked a lot less like the alien babies I saw on my google search, and a lot more like a term baby.  (Obviously he's not ready to come out, he's still just the size of a cup, but he had nice puffy cheeks!) 

So anyhow, thats the big news.  I bought my first little boy outfits at Target so I can give them to the girls to tell them.  They are so small...and nothing is pink!!  :) 

A hate-hate relationship

Its amazing how something the size of a blueberry can make someone the size of...well...me...feel as sick as I do.  Not to blame it ALL on my little speck, but I have to blame someone right?? And I've tried blaming the hubs and, although sympathetic, he didn't buy it. Its par for the course, I know, but it still stinks. The "hate-hate" part...thats my relationship with food. If I eat, I feel sick. If I don't eat, I feel sick. If I think of food, I feel sick. I dont drink much now (well, none now that I'm pregnant), but I have only had a few college nights that have resulted in a hangover...and this feels just like that but without the whole acting-like-a-fool thing. 

I'm already sucking down Zofran and it seems to take the edge off.  I'm grateful for it this go around b/c last time it was not covered by insurance and I had to take Phenergan, which knocked me the heck out.  I was completely non-functional. I'm adjusting to the idea of four kids...slowly...but this is the very worst part for me.  This is the part where you're praying to make it to twelve weeks, praying to stop feeling horrid.  Its hard to enjoy anything...even the miracle of life...when you have to drink a teaspoon of water every 20 minutes to avoid throwing it up (BTW, during my first pregnancy...even THAT didnt work). 

We leave for a cruise next week and we are going with my in-laws. I can NOT imagine how this trip is going to go...morning sickness coupled with motion sickness...and we werent planning on telling them yet. Wish me luck...I desperately do not want to throw up in front of them.  Sigh. 

When two pink lines are completely innocent...

So for this post, I had to enlist the help of my new friend (can I call you that?? Can I can I???)  Her name is Jill (aka Jillsmo) and you can find her over at HER blog, Yeah. Good Times.  She is an accomplished artiste and was willing to help me illustrate whats been going through my head since the Incident With Pee and Positive Pregnancy Tests. 

Take, for example, the car below.  Notice the super speedy pinstripes, without which the car would probably not even move. Two pink lines on a car? Awesome, 80s style. The stripes incite a feeling of zippiness that the car would clearly not have were it not for them.

Now let us take a look at a really good movie. Doesnt matter which one, pick any one you like. See those little pink lines, craftfully sealing that wondrous DVD shut, so that you know that some little punk has not previously watched it, burned it, and then brought it back to the store? Those two pink lines mean security people!

Now, see the below child. She's precious, isn't she? See that pretty little picture she drew? Its a rainbow, made with pink lines.  Those pink lines represent unicorns and leprechauns and the innocent musings of a two year old, completely oblivious to the responsibility that comes with the other kind of pink lines.

 And this...well, its bacon.  Everyone loves bacon. If you don't, theres something wrong with you.  However, pre-cooked bacon is remarkably straight, like a little food omen.

There are times when two pink lines, that are relatively parallel to one another are completely harmless and benevolent.  Take, for example, the picture of one of those annoying bicyclists riding down our country roads (in the most arrogant fashion BTW).  See the stylish stripes on their shirt? Almost makes me feel bad for hating them taking up the road.  Actually, no it doesnt.  

So, quick recap. Most times, two pretty, pink lines do not connote the same feeling of panic and utter despair as two pink lines on a pregnancy test.  To say I'm still freaking out...understatement.  I'm blessed, I know that.  But we were not planning this and I hate to admit that I'm not handling this with as much gratitude and grace as I should be.  Luckily, my Pregnancy By the Week calendar states that this VERY week, I may have feelings of ambivalence mixed with anxiety. Thank goodness! ;-)

And then there were two....pink...lines.

So, I havent posted in a few days because honestly, I'm still trying to drag my butt off the floor from when I first found out. 

Lets rewind to last week, when I was blissfully unaware of this up and coming responsibility. I was preparing to figure out how I was going to fund raise to ADOPT. Not birth, ADOPT.  Then, a funny thing happened. Or, a painful thing rather. My gallbladder started freaking the heck out. That typically only happens when I'm pregnant.  Of course I was all cocky...being on the pill and all (LOESTRIN people...stay away!!!)  and thought for sure this is just a coincidence and I forgot about it. Until I couldnt anymore. Then the cramps started coming at a time they shouldn't have...and I knew.

So I bought a pregnancy test...or six.  Every one was positive. Not even a "hold it up to the light to really see a line" positive.  They were there and undeniable.  Hubs and I are in shock. Of course, babies are blessings, but seeing that extra line was a record screech.  

We havent told too many yet. I know I'm still early on, but not sure how early. Dr's appt isnt until mid-November because the scheduling Nazi at my OB's office wouldn't let me in any earlier.  So, thats that.

Thinking back three years, hubs and I remembered that I conceived Baby A on the same birth control. All along I felt it wasn't strong enough (I'll spare the gory details as to WHY I felt that way), but I was going to bring it up with my dr at my next appointment. Funny.  Or not...