Moving out and on

So, its been a while.  I no longer have internet access at home, since we moved.  My move had been planned for a while. I built a small house with my parents’ help and was supposed to be moving this past weekend.  However, I came home one day a few weeks ago to my husband, his father, and his friend clearing out some of the furniture in the old house. I was petrified. I had changed the locks…HOW did he get in?  I called the police thinking that our original order that stated he couldn’t come into the home would be enforced…turns out our later custody order trumped that one…which means he’s been coming in and out of the house for the past ten months at will, without me knowing.  I’d had an idea he’d been in there…things would  be moved, I could literally smell him at times, yet I had no proof and chalked it up to paranoia. 

Our court order required a 30 day notice with any intent to move. We were two weeks into my notice when this happened. I felt extremely unsafe, and my lawyer said to go ahead and move the children since he continued to come and go when I wasn’t home, removing things each time. It was very unsettling…I understood that legally the house was still his, but for the time being, I had felt semi-safe there.

So, Monday morning I went to work thinking I’d be going home that night, and by Monday night, I was moved into my new house. It was very quick, unexpected, and I’m sure there will be legal hell to pay for violating the 30 day rule.  I’ve spend the past couple of weeks going between the houses, cleaning (until he took the vacuum), and packing and organizing whats left.  Yesterday was the last day I plan on going in that house.  It was so bittersweet…it was my “dream home,” and yet it was filled with so many horrible memories that I wanted to RUN from it.  Every detail I had planned, every furnishing I had picked…now just a part of the past.  I had imagined my grandchildren would visit me there, and we’d fish down at our pond. When my husband proposed on the knoll that later became our front porch, I never would have dreamed this is how things would turn out.

We have to work out the financial pieces of whats left…and he has been extremely uncooperative in that aspect. We have our spousal support hearing today, and he’s acting like that’s the deciding factor in whether or not he can buy me out of the house.  He’s had over a year to figure it out, and left me hanging.  This entire year, our house could have been on the market. 

Its been an adjustment…we don’t have cable or internet anymore…finances don’t allow for these “luxuries.”  Our new little house is wonderful, albeit underfurnished.  I’ve learned very quickly that I really didn’t NEED most of the stuff we had.  Each child has a bed, which is the most important thing. 

If you read this today, please pray that court goes well.  I’m a nervous wreck.