I'm not going to lie...I hate you.

I really don't understand things. I just don't GET how people can be so incredibly self-serving. He introduced my kids to his girlfriend. The one he is definitely still seeing because he made it a point to send me the longest. text. ever. to describe how they will be together and how I need to just "get over it," and how he's done nothing wrong and its my fault the kids know who she is.

My kids are not stupid. They've heard him talk to her on the phone. They've MET her (back when we were still in the same house!). They were a part of all of this.  He had her IN my home while they were asleep upstairs. He is the king of crossing inappropriate boundaries. So when I found out they'd met her, I wasn't surprised.  Not a single therapist we've been involved with has recommended we introduce our kids to a significant other, but he decided it was ok to just sort of bypass the professional advice and do what he wanted.

I got to hear about how "nice" she was, which, you know, stung to my very core. But I guess I'd rather the kids be happy when she's around than angry.  So, I put on my big girl panties and pretended like I was excited about "Daddy's new friend."  I'm waiting for when they get upset that daddy always has her around and never has alone time for them, but that will come.

We are not even divorced yet though.  Our kids are adjusting to so much this year, and he's just going to throw in the girlfriend??  Oh, and her "super cool" teenage daughter. Who brought them bags of candy.  WTH?

So then I talked to her husband, as we've been in touch during this process, and discovered that she'd been asking to work on the marriage and move back into their home.  They'd even set up marriage counseling. What is this completely unstable, manipulative home-wrecker trying to do?  WHO does she want to be with? Needless to say, he was not happy about this, especially the part where his daughter was involved.  Then we decided that my husband and his wife might really be the two most selfish people ever.  If you want to be with my husband, fine. I dont want him. If you want to be with YOUR husband...fine! But when you start dragging the kids into these relationship, you're creating the potential for some serious damage. Leave them out of it. Why can't he just spend his two days with them and not her? Its only FOUR days out of the month. Come on!

Traditions

Some things never change, and tradition is really big in our family. Of course we have to allow for flexibility now, but there are certain things we ALWAYS do. To kick off our Christmas season, we have breakfast with Santa, courtesy of my parents. Today was a wonderful day. Its not "my" weekend with the kids, but my ex was nice enough to let me have them for this event. They had so much fun...and as much as I've sort of been dreading December and the holidays, they made me forget all the bad memories as we made new ones.

Next on the list are cookies and pizza breads! I had to give the kids back today but next weekend we'll be all about the baking!  I think while the kids are at their dad's, our Elf is planning on leaving a lit Christmas tree for them to decorate however they want.  Its supposed to snow here on Sunday, so if school is closed Monday, we can decorate!

Just a prayer request...

Life's got a way of smacking you in the face. Sometimes its just the wake-up call you need. Today during daycare pickup was mine. I ran into a friend of mine whose children have been growing side-by-side with my own.  She has a lovely family, and I've come to know many of her relatives through years of birthday and family parties.  Her father was very recently diagnosed with cancer, and while he was unconscious and in the ICU recovering from his 11 hour operation, her mother fell ill and is now in the ICU as well.  I'm not sure what happened with her, but its not usually something you post on facebook, and daycare wasn't the place to ask.  So, for those of you that do, please pray for this family...this mother and father who have raised amazing people, (who have married amazing people), and all their little grandchildren.  I can not even imagine what it would be like to have both parents with life-threatening illnesses, let alone at the same time.  Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.

My other thought is with a little girl who came across my path at work. She is nine, and she sort of fell into our laps when her mother pretty much up and left her with a stranger because she had to choose between the child or her husband (who had been abusing the child).  She chose the husband. And while this little girl bounced from house to house, another mother noticed she'd been limping an awfully long time (since spring).  A few hospital visits later, and she was diagnosed with osteosarcoma.  This little girl, whose mother abandoned her, now has to fight for her life. Thankfully, family has stepped up to take care of her and she is no longer bouncing from home to home. But please think of her too, and pray that she heals.

I am grateful beyond words for my healthy family.  Healthy parents, healthy children. When something like that happens, I'm sure its ALL that matters...you just want them to be well again.  Today was a reminder to never take that for granted.