I really don't understand things. I just don't GET how people can be so incredibly self-serving. He introduced my kids to his girlfriend. The one he is definitely still seeing because he made it a point to send me the longest. text. ever. to describe how they will be together and how I need to just "get over it," and how he's done nothing wrong and its my fault the kids know who she is.
My kids are not stupid. They've heard him talk to her on the phone. They've MET her (back when we were still in the same house!). They were a part of all of this. He had her IN my home while they were asleep upstairs. He is the king of crossing inappropriate boundaries. So when I found out they'd met her, I wasn't surprised. Not a single therapist we've been involved with has recommended we introduce our kids to a significant other, but he decided it was ok to just sort of bypass the professional advice and do what he wanted.
I got to hear about how "nice" she was, which, you know, stung to my very core. But I guess I'd rather the kids be happy when she's around than angry. So, I put on my big girl panties and pretended like I was excited about "Daddy's new friend." I'm waiting for when they get upset that daddy always has her around and never has alone time for them, but that will come.
We are not even divorced yet though. Our kids are adjusting to so much this year, and he's just going to throw in the girlfriend?? Oh, and her "super cool" teenage daughter. Who brought them bags of candy. WTH?
So then I talked to her husband, as we've been in touch during this process, and discovered that she'd been asking to work on the marriage and move back into their home. They'd even set up marriage counseling. What is this completely unstable, manipulative home-wrecker trying to do? WHO does she want to be with? Needless to say, he was not happy about this, especially the part where his daughter was involved. Then we decided that my husband and his wife might really be the two most selfish people ever. If you want to be with my husband, fine. I dont want him. If you want to be with YOUR husband...fine! But when you start dragging the kids into these relationship, you're creating the potential for some serious damage. Leave them out of it. Why can't he just spend his two days with them and not her? Its only FOUR days out of the month. Come on!