Tuesday, January 7, 2014

And exactly one year ago tonight...

was when I found out (for the second time) that my husband was cheating (still).  Exactly one year ago, his girlfriend just found out about  Austin, and I just found out about her. I was SO tempted to text her today to say thank you for the blessing of the TRUTH.  She didn't "steal" my husband...he went willingly.  What the two of them have created is built entirely on lies.   They've convinced themselves that its love, and honestly I really don't care. How can anything be genuine when its entire foundation was built on lies and deceit?  I've reconciled with the fact that she's here to stay, as they both pretend they are married and she's already taken his name.  As long as they show kindness towards each other in front of my children, and are good to them, I can live with their crazy.  

But as for me...I'm free.  So thank you K-----!!   I NEVER ever ever ever have to be with someone who treats me like dirt ever again. I never have to settle for less than I deserve. My children will never see their mother emotionally tormented by a man ever again.  They will never hear the screams, cry in fear, or experience the confusion that was our lives ever again.  We have worked hard this past year- my little team.

A year ago tonight, I was torn with so many feelings...I remember feeling so relieved that I wasn't crazy! That I really DID hear him talking on the phone at night, and that my instincts were 100% on the money!  But the overwhelming feeling of freedom is something I'll never forget.  Sure, I was livid, hurt, betrayed...but I knew at that moment when she told me on the phone, that there was no going back and I would never accept him as my partner ever again.  I knew at that moment that my life was mine again...that I did not have to share another second with him.  I didn't have to trust him, rely on him, love him.  I could LET HIM GO. I could let the marriage go, knowing I'd forgiven him once, tried my best, and it didn't work.

One year down (again), and it has been SO. HARD.  But it is nothing compared to the hell I lived under his thumb.

My only advice...believe them when they show you who they are.  Don't second guess yourself, don't get caught up in emotions...when they show you their true selves, believe it.  You will save yourself a lot of hurt and time.


  1. It is so good to hear your perspective after a year. I'm only 2 months in, and we're still slogging through the overwhelming task of getting through each day and trying to get the initial parameters for money and visitation set. It makes me feel so hopeful to hear you sounding so happy and healthy, even though things are still hard. It gives me hope that I'll be able to work through the narcissistic junk he carries with him and see how good life can be when I'm not under his thumb. Thank you for the encouragement...you're an inspiration to me!

    1. Thank YOU! Every day is different...the less contact, the better. Some days feel so strong and others are a struggle to get through. Keep plugging along! There IS a much brighter future!